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Walking the Edge of Reality

A look behind the curtain to my world...
***DISCLAIMER***
Nothing... NOTHING... mentioned on this blog should EVER be considered
"in game" for any games being operated by myself or Darklight Interactive
Self-reliance
Monday, May 31, 2010 8:50 PM

For the past six months, I've been working at a company I really enjoyed, doing work I really enjoyed. I got along with all the people, I loved the environment, and they seemed to like the quality of my work. As far as an employer goes, it was fantastic.

This past Friday, for apparent financial reasons (due to the nationwide recession and economic downturn), I was let go along with about a dozen others. Although I am upset at what happened, I hold no grudge for my previous employers; they treated me well and fairly.

It was simply something they had to do to keep their company afloat. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

I've lost my share of jobs; some I've lost through my own doings (calling the Regional Sales Manager a "moron" in front of the customer wasn't such a bright idea), some as collateral damage (fallout from company's need to eliminate someone), some for no apparent reason ("late for a meeting" isn't an acceptable excuse for termination in my book). This was the first time that they wanted to have me working there, but simply couldn't afford to have me.

I do everything right... and it doesn't matter. I continue to risk waking up some day and realizing I'm unemployed. My employment was not under my direct control; it was in the hands of someone else. And as reliable as that "someone" may be, things happen. Heck, even Google (who had almost legendary status of not firing anyone) had to lay people off recently.

Every time I've been in this situation, wondering what my next job will be, I've questioned the possibility of being self-reliant, of being my own boss. I have no doubt I could probably do it, but getting to a point where I matched what I was making before would take more time than I can afford to spend doing it. I might be making it on my own in six months, but those six months might end up being the most gut wrenching, "cannot afford to eat every other day" time of my life.

If I were alone in this fight, I would give it a go. But I have a wife and son; that's not a luxury I can take.

I look at things like Hijinks Ensues' "Experiment" in self-reliance, and wish I could do the same thing. But he had something going before he could do that full-time: he had a large audience that would be willing to support him, be it through donations or merchandise. I don't have that luxury yet.

Plus, his customer *is* his audience; in mine, it's not. I have to aggressively hunt the customer and convince them that they need my services. In order to do that properly, you need some capital to do it: you need to be able to afford trips (be it to conventions, trade shows, or even the customers themselves), marketing initiatives, third party costs (subscriptions to services such as stock imagery sites, hardware and software investments, dynamic hosting that give you freedom of delivery, mailing lists, etc... ) and - to a certain degree - staff.

Right now I don't think I can even afford ARGFest; with my financial future in doubt, I can't risk that level of expense.

Finally, in this industry there is always the problem with inconsistency. This month I might have a stellar bottom line, and the next month I might have zero. One would argue that that's the case in any industry, but other companies can rely on monthly contracts or some guarantee of a really long term deal. That's not something likely to happen to what is a small shop such as ours.

So tomorrow I begin the job hunt again, but in the back of my mind I continue to wonder how would it be possible to become self-reliant. I'll dedicate some time to see how it would be possible, but as time goes on and savings dwindle that time will inevitably dwindle down and necessity will take over.

Let's see who wins that race.


Posted by David "Nighthawk" Flor on Monday, May 31, 2010 8:50 PM
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Obrigado
Tuesday, December 22, 2009 4:53 PM

I haven't posted here in a while, but in light of recent discussions on Twitter some things can't be expressed in 140 characters. So it's story time.

Let me tell you about the time I nearly got arrested by a Brazilian customs agent...

I predict it to be about 1991. I was working at a very large local freight forwarder who is now owned by a bigger company that uses initials for its name. I had the title of "Regional Support Representative", which in and of itself didn't mean much. Put simply: I was the one and only local technical contact in Miami. And, by default, the technical contact for all of South America. I was the "go to" IT person for an entire continent at the age of 20.

This was around the time that a major retail chain - one that has a rather sizeable headquarters in Arkansas - was expanding to South America. So I was tasked to go to both Brazil (Sao Paulo) and Argentina (Buenos Aires) to make the necessary technical arrangements to get our local field offices up to 20th century computing standards.

Before I continue, there's a side note: I worked for a freight forwarder. As such, forwarders have a tendency of taking advantage of relationships they may have with their cargo carriers. If the forwarder hands the carrier thousands of pounds of cargo on a yearly basis, the carrier returns the favor with a few perks. Among which is the opportunity for the forwarder's employees to use cargo planes for executive travel. And it is just like it sounds: when flying on a cargo plane, you *are* FREIGHT. You fly "ninth class". You are listed on the manifest as "cargo". On smaller aircraft, you get to sit in a jump seat, which may or may not be in the cockpit. For that matter, it may or may not have a seat belt. There is no stewardess, there is no bathroom, there is no food. You aren't even allowed to SPEAK below 10,000 feet. If you're lucky, you won't be on a Southbound "cattle flight."

Since you are freight and not human, you do not pass through the traditional customs process that the normal passenger does. Your passport is stamped at the cargo terminal (which, in MIA's case, is a blue building on the north side of the runway; literally 100 yards from the primary runway itself). So, since the customs process is much more lax, some people might decide to take advantage of that.

At the time we were going to Brazil, the field office had a representative visiting Miami; he was in the process of relocating his home in Broward to Sao Paulo. So, as a favor, he asked us to take with us a single box about four feet long that contained some personal items like electronics. The reason he preferred this method, in case you are not aware, is that things like electronics carry a massive customs tax (20% or more), so it wasn't cost effective to send it as actual cargo because it would have to be declared. As carryon luggage, you don't have to declare anything and as such you aren't taxed.

So we agreed.

Thankfully, for the trip to Sao Paulo - a non-stop flight which is a staggering 14 hours - we were lucky enough to fly on a 747 "cargo conversion". These planes, even though they are gutted for freight, still have the First Class "bubble" at the top of the plane, and there they have a couple of first class seats. So the flight was rather bearable, all things considered, and 14 hours later we're stepping off the plane in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

Now, needless to say, customs when entering a country is much more strict than leaving one. So my business associate and I show up to the customs desk (which was, literally, a folded table next to the runway) and ask for our passports to be stamped. He notices that we're lugging around a sealed box.

"What's in the box?"

"Personal items from a business associate in Miami."

"Open it."

Now, what did we have to lose at this point? We assumed the executive, a high ranking executive in the company, wouldn't do something as ludicrous as pack ten kilos in the thing. So we happily opened it.

Inside were numerous portable CD players, Walkmans, some video games and a harpoon gun.

Yes, you read that correctly... a harpoon gun.

There it was. A four foot long, LOADED harpoon gun.

My business associate and I stared blankly at each other, knowing what's coming next.

"What is that, sir?"

"That's... uh... looks like a harpoon gun."

"I mean those other boxes."

"The what? The CD players and cassette deck?"

"Yes."

I thought he was joking.

"You can't bring those in to the country like that."

I saw where this was going; I've seen it before in Mexico and Cuba. Grease the wheel and it doesn't squeak anymore.

Unfortunately, at this point, neither my business partner nor myself had any money to grease said wheel.

"I'm going to have to confiscate this equipment. You can take that," he said waving to the harpoon gun.

"OK then." It wasn't my problem; it's the executive's screw up. He'll take the loss. So I started to close up the box.

"You can't take the box."

"What?"

"The box stays here. Take that with you."

I couldn't believe what he was suggesting, so I had to repeat it.

"Let me get this straight... You are letting me leave, brandishing a loaded harpoon gun?"

"We can't take that here, and you are not authorized to simply discard it."

"You do understand that this is a WEAPON, right?" I honestly didn't want to take it. I was afraid I might get shot out of self-defense while trying to hail a cab.

"Take it and go or we may have to detain you further."

"Let's go," said my business partner. Sure, he's not the one that was carrying this thing.

So there I was, standing on the sidewalk at Sao Paulo International Airport, suitcase in one hand and four foot long harpoon gun in the other. Trying to hail a cab.

Actually, I've never gotten a cab easier in my life...

Some other day I'll tell you the story on how I was an illegal alien in Bogota.

Posted by David "Nighthawk" Flor on Tuesday, December 22, 2009 4:53 PM
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Exercise in Creativity
Sunday, November 01, 2009 4:55 PM

Gosh, has it been two months since a blog post?

The last months have been hectic... We've been working on RW, I've been having a physical problems, personal problems, employment problems... The hits just keep on coming, but I'm rolling with them.

Anyway, for those of you that are not aware, today is November 1st, the first day of National Novel Writing Month. The objective of this month might sound easy to some and brutal to others: 50,000 words in 30 days. It's a very important event to all the would-be writers out there.

I once thought I could be a writer, and have written several short stories in the past, but my stories have never amounted to more than 3-4 pages. Writing at length for me is a daunting task, and to be frank I'm not particularly good at it. I never imagined I would be participating in this seemingly impossible objective.

But this year I'm approaching it differently. Other people I've talked to have been worried that attempting this will distract me from working on RW. So I decided to merge the two tasks... by writing the prequel to Rachel's Walk.

Honestly, I have no idea if the prequel story is enough to cover 50,000 words. I also have no guarantee that I will finish said prequel in a month. But attempting this allows me to have a more concrete background to the game, a point of reference for all the current events. It's not so much a writing exercise; it's a creative one, allowing me to think about aspects of the game I haven't considered yet.

For this reason, I seriously doubt anyone outside of my team will read this before game launch. But, depending how it goes... and depending on how much my writing sucks... maybe I'll release bits and pieces of it. Can't really say right now - I've only written 451 words so far.

Anyway, for those of you that are interested, HERE is my official NaNoWriMo profile. Just so you're aware, my partner in crime Lauren "Ineffabelle" Soffer is doing this exercise as well, and she's writing a heckuva lot faster (and significantly better, I imagine) than I am.

Anyway, we'll see how this goes...

Posted by David "Nighthawk" Flor on Sunday, November 01, 2009 4:55 PM
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Mass Effect and Our Future
Monday, August 24, 2009 5:04 PM

I've recently discovered Mass Effect, and it's a fantastic game. In my mind, BioWare could do no wrong, so I look forward to their upcoming projects.

But, regardless of that, Mass Effect provides a very startling glimpse at the potential future of humanity:

1) In the future, females of every alien species will be required to wear skintight latex. Even during combat.

2) If you see three people run by you with four weapons strapped to each of their backs, don't be alarmed. They're just going to go tell some guy to stop stalking the resident mystic.

3) Elevators have a security feature that will prevent them from functioning unless you holster your weapon. You could be in a building with thousands of enemies crawling around; put away the assault rifle or you're not going anywhere.

4) "Oxi-gel" is the 22nd century equivalent of duct tape. It can fix artillery holes and fire damage on a tank. You can even use it to repair tires... without exiting the vehicle.

5) You can walk in to a nightclub and fire a thousand rounds of ammunition at the walls; nobody seems to notice. In fact, the music won't even stop. Don't worry, you won't actually hit anyone, so it's OK.

6) 22nd century armored transports are the technological equivalent of a house cat: no matter how bad a driver you are, or if you hit an embankment that will send your car flying forty feet in to the air while doing three somersaults, you'll always land wheels down without any damage.

7) Bathrooms are not required on a military cruiser, even if the cruiser never even lands anywhere for months on end. A kitchen isn't needed either, even though you do have a dining room.

8) You can take six RPG rounds in the chest and still remain standing, but a single pistol round during a dramatic conversation will kill you instantly.

9) If you die within sight of your commanding officer, don't worry; he can resurrect you. Even if he's actively firing an assault rifle on the run.

10) In the future, the Moon will have the same amount of gravity as Earth.

11) Every major computer system's reboot sequence will require that the operator know how to solve "Towers of Hanoi".

12) The enemies have rocket launchers that fire projectiles the size of small cars. The good guys don't have such a luxury; with four other weapons strapped to your back, there's simply no room.

13) Mining on a planet surface does not involve actual mining tools. It does involve a complex electronic puzzle with repeated trial and error, and can be done by someone with no training in geology whatsoever. Also, even though you've known about the planet for decades and there are three million people living on it, a military survey team will still chance across an undiscovered gold mine of resources the moment they arrive.


Should be fun!

Posted by David "Nighthawk" Flor on Monday, August 24, 2009 5:04 PM
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Settling Silence
Sunday, August 02, 2009 2:42 PM

Yeah, I'm still around...

The past few weeks have been "complicated" to say the least. I was out of town for nearly two weeks, and this past week I've been swamped at work because the site I've been working on for the past several years (the "adult social network portal" *wink, wink!*) is launching on Monday or Tuesday.

And my "partner in crime", Lauren (a.k.a Ineffabelle), has had some medical issues that have kept her in the hospital. I ask all of you to wish her the very best. Last I heard, she'll be getting out in the coming days.

As for the "game", development does continue. For the reasons above we've had some inactivity for the past few weeks, but we're getting back on track and there's still a lot to do. I'm in the process of doing a major change to the mechanics of the system in order to cater to the much larger audience we have now (we have over 800 unique signups), not to mention there's still a lot of ongoing site design, Flash development, renderings, content creation and much, much more.

We've been considering doing press previews of some sort, but we just don't know yet. We're focusing too much on just getting it done and active to be worrying about that right now.

For what it's worth, thanks for holding on! Expect some more updates - be it here, the corporate site or the press - in the near future.

Posted by David "Nighthawk" Flor on Sunday, August 02, 2009 2:42 PM
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