Walking the Edge of Reality

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Walking the Edge of Reality

A look behind the curtain to my world...

More Than Meets the Eye
Sunday, June 28, 2009 6:16 AM

*** WARNING: HERE BE SPOILERS! ***

Yesterday I went to my second viewing of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, this time at an IMAX theater. The first time was an arguably painful experience, but this time I mentally prepared myself for it and saw the movie in a different light, which actually made it enjoyable.

The movie's getting panned by everyone, especially the likes of Roger Ebert, but I realized something: every one of them goes in to this movie expecting it to be the next Citizen Kane, which is most obviously not the case, and begin to write newspaper fodder when it clearly was not the intention of the movie to be Oscar material.

What was the purpose of the movie? My son, who loved it and is the reason we went to see it twice, put it best... Giant robots blow stuff up!

Michael Bay has built somewhat of a reputation for being the premier demolition expert in Hollywood. Let's look at his past explosions for a sec, and this list comes directly from IMDB.

(Note that I'm referring only to MOVIES he's done. I don't think it appropriately to bring up Playboy Video Centerfold: Keri Kendall, no? Besides, I haven't seen it... I don't know if she blows up.)

Bad Boys: Bay blows up an airplane hangar in South Florida. If the explosion would have been any bigger, we'd be at DEFCON 4.

The Rock: Bay blows up quite a few things, most notably a San Francisco trolley (national historic monument... Woohoo!) and the entire island of Alcatraz.

Armageddon: Bay blows up Earth. Well, he tries to anyway, and damn Bruce Willis for ruining his plans! He *does* blow up the entire city of Paris as well as most of New York City.

Pearl Harbor: Do I really have to explain this one?

Bad Boys II: Bay blows up a multi-million dollar mansion in Palm Beach, not to mention several cars along the MacArthur Causeway. I remember that vividly: the MacArthur causeway filming shut down the primary artery heading in to Miami Beach for a week.

The Island: Actually, this is the only movie of his that I haven't seen. Can someone chime in on it?

Transformers: His most ambitious demolition to date, blows up numerous things like a military base, a city, and a bunch of robots.

And now we come to Transformers 2... I gotta say, I can't think of any 5-10 minute span in the movie where he *doesn't* blow stuff up. Let's take a list off the top of my head (I'm sure I'm missing something, and this is in no particular order):

- A house in a suburban neighborhood
- The entire city of Shanghai
- A "high security" military base
- An entire naval fleet, including an aircraft carrier
- Several buildings in... whatever city Sam's in.
- The Great Pyramid at Giza, as well as numerous locations in Egypt
- Princeton University
- The Smithsonian Air and Space Museum
- Paris, France (he must really not like Paris)

And that's not counting numerous random locations in the desert, a forest, etc... He blows stuff up GOOD!

Also, you have to look at the technical marvel that is the movie: IMDB states in the "trivia" section that each frame on an IMAX screen took THREE DAYS to render. At first I thought that, with modern day's computing power, it was impossible.

Then I did a little math...

1) A "typical" IMAX screen is 72 feet wide by 53 feet high. For maths' sake, let's put that in inches: 864 inches x 636 inches.

2) It does NOT look pixellated obviously, so let's give Michael the benefit of the doubt and assume the resolution of the image is 72dpi; anything lower than that and it's apparent. That makes the resolution of the image a staggering 62208 x 45792, which is about 3600 times larger than a computer screen. That, assuming 24-bit color depth, also makes each frame over 8.5 gigabytes in size (uncompressed).

3) The movie is 149 minutes long. Obviously, not every frame has a robot in it, but a great deal does. For math's sake, let's assume 2/3rd do (I think it's more than that, but still). That makes for, ballpark, over 6,000 seconds of footage that needed rendered content.

4) Standard film is 24 frames per second (I don't know if they're using 48 dpi "IMAX HD"; for argument's sake, let's say no). That means OVER 150,000 FRAMES had to be rendered using the above dimensions. That puts the storage requirements in the "holy crap" range: uncompressed, over 1.2 PETAbytes.

Those numbers are probably higher than what they really were (IMDB is only reporting about 150+TB of space was needed), but you get the idea.

All the above makes Transformers 2 one of, if not the, most technologically demanding movies ever made.

Part of the problem, and the source of fuel for the critics, is the non-exploding stuff. There are of course Mudflap and Skids, who I would call more stereotypical than racist (guess they couldn't find Anthony Anderson). There's the tiny little robot that represents the typical Italian mob goon. There's a lot of swearing, from the reserved mother to the occasional robot (my wife was rather bothered explaining the "happy candy" the mother eats in the college dorm). There was a giant robot scrotum. You get the idea.

But it's all in good fun, and you have to take it for what it is: semi-amusing filler that makes kids laugh... I was really amused by the scenes with Jetfire, the old school SR-71 Blackbird (of course, now I have to take my son to the Smithsonian).

And it even has Michael York in it (I recognized the voice instantly)!

It was good, mindless fun if you go in with a different mindset. It's not a "Best Picture" nominee. It has a rather complicated plot and very little character development. But it *does* have robots - LOTS of robots - getting all blown to hell!

And now, some excerpts from the family viewings:

Wife: "[Son] has to go to the bathroom. Is it almost over?"
Me: "No, you got..." *checks watch* "...45 minutes to go."
Wife: "Seriously?"
Me: "Yeah. You've seen this before, right?"
Wife: "It's all a giant, fire-consumed blur."

Wife: "How do you explain a lap dance to an eight year old?"
Me: "I've never needed much of an explanation myself."
Wife: "What?"
*dramatic pause*
Me: "Oh, look! A Corvette!"

(Prior to the dormitory scene with Sam and robo-girl)
Wife: "Oh boy, this is gonna need some explaining."
Me: "Tell him she's a rob-... Oh... Never mind."
Wife: "How'd you know?"
Me: "That just doesn't happen in college."
Wife: *piercing stare*

Wife: "I want her makeup and hairstylist. After all that, she still looks perfect."
Me: "Yeah, and look at her run..."
Wife: "Are you staring?"
*dramatic pause*
Me: "Oh, look! A tiger!"

Posted by David "Nighthawk" Flor on Sunday, June 28, 2009 6:16 AM

3 comments [ View Comments ]

Posted by Agent Lex on Sunday, June 28, 2009 2:09 PM

I hope you'd pirated/downloaded it, with all that chatter you had going on...

Posted by Amanda on Monday, June 29, 2009 9:06 AM

LOL I LOVE The commentary.

I enjoyed the movie to an extent. Some of the characters annoyed me. And it felt weird to sit next to my father while the dogs (and robot later...) were humping things. But the annoyance with those factors has diminished as the days have passed. My main disappointment was the plot. I didn't feel like they had as strong of a plot as they did in the first, really. I mean, the potential was there, I just feel like they tried but then got lazy and decided to blow crap up instead.

As for the Island, if I remember correctly he blew up an Island, and some other joints, plus a motorcycle. (Maybe.... Gonna have to rewatch that one and get back to you...)

Posted by Joe Iriarte on Friday, July 03, 2009 12:32 AM

You're not being fair to Roger Ebert. Ebert's the most down-to-earth of the movie critics, and he totally gets that not every movie is supposed to be profound. Recent movies he gave a thumbs up to include The Hangover, Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, and Land of the Lost. Seriously. Land of the Lost.

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