Walking the Edge of Reality

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Walking the Edge of Reality

A look behind the curtain to my world...

***DISCLAIMER***
Nothing... NOTHING... mentioned on this blog should EVER be considered
"in game" for any games being operated by myself or Darklight Interactive

Self-reliance
Monday, May 31, 2010 8:50 PM

For the past six months, I've been working at a company I really enjoyed, doing work I really enjoyed. I got along with all the people, I loved the environment, and they seemed to like the quality of my work. As far as an employer goes, it was fantastic.

This past Friday, for apparent financial reasons (due to the nationwide recession and economic downturn), I was let go along with about a dozen others. Although I am upset at what happened, I hold no grudge for my previous employers; they treated me well and fairly.

It was simply something they had to do to keep their company afloat. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

I've lost my share of jobs; some I've lost through my own doings (calling the Regional Sales Manager a "moron" in front of the customer wasn't such a bright idea), some as collateral damage (fallout from company's need to eliminate someone), some for no apparent reason ("late for a meeting" isn't an acceptable excuse for termination in my book). This was the first time that they wanted to have me working there, but simply couldn't afford to have me.

I do everything right... and it doesn't matter. I continue to risk waking up some day and realizing I'm unemployed. My employment was not under my direct control; it was in the hands of someone else. And as reliable as that "someone" may be, things happen. Heck, even Google (who had almost legendary status of not firing anyone) had to lay people off recently.

Every time I've been in this situation, wondering what my next job will be, I've questioned the possibility of being self-reliant, of being my own boss. I have no doubt I could probably do it, but getting to a point where I matched what I was making before would take more time than I can afford to spend doing it. I might be making it on my own in six months, but those six months might end up being the most gut wrenching, "cannot afford to eat every other day" time of my life.

If I were alone in this fight, I would give it a go. But I have a wife and son; that's not a luxury I can take.

I look at things like Hijinks Ensues' "Experiment" in self-reliance, and wish I could do the same thing. But he had something going before he could do that full-time: he had a large audience that would be willing to support him, be it through donations or merchandise. I don't have that luxury yet.

Plus, his customer *is* his audience; in mine, it's not. I have to aggressively hunt the customer and convince them that they need my services. In order to do that properly, you need some capital to do it: you need to be able to afford trips (be it to conventions, trade shows, or even the customers themselves), marketing initiatives, third party costs (subscriptions to services such as stock imagery sites, hardware and software investments, dynamic hosting that give you freedom of delivery, mailing lists, etc... ) and - to a certain degree - staff.

Right now I don't think I can even afford ARGFest; with my financial future in doubt, I can't risk that level of expense.

Finally, in this industry there is always the problem with inconsistency. This month I might have a stellar bottom line, and the next month I might have zero. One would argue that that's the case in any industry, but other companies can rely on monthly contracts or some guarantee of a really long term deal. That's not something likely to happen to what is a small shop such as ours.

So tomorrow I begin the job hunt again, but in the back of my mind I continue to wonder how would it be possible to become self-reliant. I'll dedicate some time to see how it would be possible, but as time goes on and savings dwindle that time will inevitably dwindle down and necessity will take over.

Let's see who wins that race.

Posted by David "Nighthawk" Flor on Monday, May 31, 2010 8:50 PM

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David "Nighthawk" Flor

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